Other People Don't Care ...Isn't that Great?

“You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.”

― Olin Miller (American Businessman and Very Quotable Guy)

To some extent, we all make choices based on what we believe others are going to think. Among the many reasons I was scared to become a coach, one of the spiders lurking in the corner of my brain was, "BUT WHAT ARE PEOPLE GOING TO THINK!!?" 

My thought process went something like this: "They know me as an event expert, why would they ever consider me an expert coach? To them, I'll always be an event person, they won't see how my experience translates, how I've grown/changed, or what I've learned. They will think I'm a fake. They won't respect me in my new role."

Luckily I recognized my thought, "They won't respect me in my new role." - it's a false belief. Not only does it have the generalization hallmark of "They," but the opposite could also be true: "They might respect me in my new role."

In fact, despite my fear, when I announced myself as a coach, many of my former colleagues provided wonderful and motivating feedback such as:

• "It's a bold move, I also want a big change!"

• "This is perfect for you."

• "You always shine in whatever you do."

This is not to say that everyone had great things to say or that no one judged me or thought I was crazy, stupid, or unqualified. I'm sure they did.

And the majority of people?

THEY DON'T CARE! And here I was, afraid of "people" who mostly don't care.

In fact, I helped a client the other day recognize that she was holding herself back from what saying what she wanted to say by realizing that, most likely, the people she thought might judge her probably would get a lot of value from what she had to say... or at worst probably wouldn't care very much at all!

"People don't care" sounds sad but it's actually empowering!