You are not responsible for other people’s feelings.
We think that taking responsibility for other people’s feelings is sensitive and admirable.
It’s actually the most insensitive thing you can do.
Here’s why:
It diminishes others’ power and personal responsibility. (A dramatic example of diminished responsibility is an abuser’s “you made me do it.”)
It sets up a cycle of co-dependence: your feeling good now depends on someone else’s feelings.
It subjugates what's actually healthy for ourselves to what we *think* would be best for someone else.
Note: this is not a free pass to do whatever you want and everyone else can go suck an egg.
It’s simply the flip side of the responsibility coin:
🪙 1. You are responsible for your own emotions, thoughts, and actions. (If you act like a jerk you’re responsible for that.)
🪙 2. Other people are responsible for their emotions, thoughts, and actions. (The other person is responsible for their reaction to you being a jerk — they could choose to go nuclear or respond maturely.)
You empower yourself by being responsible for your own feelings.
And honor the wholeness of others by allowing them to do the same.
Remember, you are not responsible for other people’s feelings. ❤️
