Discover Your Core Values: North Stars for Work & Life
“You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”
- David Allen, productivity expert
Listening to a podcast interview of a successful entrepreneur, I was refreshingly shocked that she managed to avoid an insane overdrive lifestyle.
She wasn’t on back-to-back phone calls, her calendar wasn't crammed with meetings in 15min increments, she didn't ask her PA to drop the same sad salad at her desk for lunch every day. She didn’t answer every time the phone rang, nor did she return every call.
She had time for long lunches and seeing her friends and family. She spent time decorating her home and enjoying it. “Huh,” I thought. “That must be pretty great.”
Time management isn’t just what you say no to, though maintaining boundaries and getting comfortable with not being a superhuman or savior is certainly part of it.
Time Management is also about what you say yes to. That’s where discovering your Core Values can come in handy.
Core Values might be helpful if you’ve thought to yourself:
I feel stuck and lack motivation.
I feel overwhelmed and I’m not sure what to prioritize.
There are a number of ways I could spend my time/energy and I’m not sure which to choose.
I don’t know what I want
What are Core Values?
Core values are personally chosen life directions and principles that can act as north stars for our lives.
Discovering your Core Values helps you:
Make decisions and find meaning. When you’re unsure how to prioritize, what’s important to you, and/or nothing feels “right,” values can provide direction.
Connect with your motivation. If you’re having trouble finding the energy or reason to do something, values-aligned activities are intrinsically motivating.
Get out of stuckness. Doing something values-aligned gives us a reason to move forward when things are hard.
Stay clear on what's important so as not to get mixed up in what others want for us or what society suggests we "should" do.
In the late-90s screwball rom-com Runaway Bride, Julia Robert plays a thrice-engaged but never married small-town darling with a dim sense of self.
Her character arcs at her realization that she’s so used to agreeing with her current flame's preference of how he likes his eggs cooked that she has no notion of how she likes her eggs.
Even if you don’t remember the movie, I hope you follow the analogy: YOU are the only person who can decide your Core Values. Once discovered they can help you say on target with what's important for you.
How to discover your Core Values
Figuring out your Core Values is an internal discovery process. It’s one part intuition and two parts trial and error.
My experience is that it’s easiest to quick-start by selecting from a list. It’s like playing the game “hotter/colder” with yourself, the principles that appeal to you most — your Core Values — will feel "burning" or "scorching” whereas many will simply feel “hot,” “warm” or even “cold” or “Antarctica.”
A Values value-add: non-judgment of others
Another thing I love about values is that it gives us a framework to support non-judgment of others. Baby humans are weaned on moralistic judgments. For instance, cleaning is “right,” and staying up late is “wrong.”
As a naive college student visiting Spain for the first time, I remember thinking the whole country was “lazy” because the shops closed in the afternoon for siesta.
We can avoid moralistic judgment by applying a framework of values. Instead of cleanliness being right, it’s something we do because we might value hygiene, aesthetics, and/or pride. It’s optional to subscribe to, not THE right thing.
Staying up late may honor a value of solitude or individualism. And bless the Spanish for valuing their self-care: nap time, travel time, lunch time… all seem like pretty great ways to take care of oneself mid-day.
Leverage your Core Values for personal power.
You get to decide how to act or be on an ongoing basis. Leverage your values to help you do hard things and decide what success means for you.
Remember that it's normal for our Core Values to shift throughout our lives. Revisit a values discovery exercise every few years or after a big life change.
Core Values: A Discovery Workbook
Discover your core values to live & work happier.
